Have you ever been or felt like a priority to someone? — Journal Prompt
Priority: A condition of being given attention before others…
This prompt had me thinking of the different ways I have felt prioritized and experiences in which someone else’s priorities did not align with how I feel seen or prioritized. So I decided to break it down into 3 categories.
Family:
My family is the first real experience of feeling prioritized, from how they show up physically, emotionally and how they communicated with me. They prioritize through various languages such as affirming how you feel in a particular moment without leading you to a solution unless if you ask for one. In those moments when decisions are being made I appreciated their patience because we often fill silence with unnecessary noise and as a 28-year-old I understand why most people are noisy to me because we’re a quiet family.
In our own ways, we make sure to stay connected or are physically present when the opportunity presents itself. From my Dad, Mom, or Sister showing up to my sporting events, plays, or just even picking me up I have never experienced that level of consistency anywhere else. That moment of being present matters, that’s what adds up for me looking back. From a young age, I have always felt prioritized by them and that quality time is the definition of quality even though it may not be as frequent as may want it to be.
Relationships:
I found it difficult to identify consistent prioritization in relationships because a part of me believed that if I were to prioritize someone else, then it would be reciprocated but it’s never really guaranteed is it... We show up as the version that we think the other person needs initially and then settle back into our own habits and you noticeably see who this person really is. It usually takes about 3–6 months to see most of the potential points of priority in their lives. Good and bad.
My past relationships have taught me that consistency looks different with each person. One of you could still be in survival mode while the other is in the healing process and others you may be young and naive to the pressures of getting older and eventually growing apart. But you learn that it was an attempt and it may not be a failure but a couple of misunderstandings and that it’s okay to not be compatible because life is actually long.
To get to it, there is only one moment that I will always remember as the biggest gesture of being prioritized, and it came in the form of a plane ticket that started the second half of my life.
Friendships:
The past year has been the most definitive year for a lot of my friendships. From deciding what is worth the effort, who you should have tough conversations with, and what you let go of. How I see prioritization in my friendships lately is through consideration, communication, and presence. Anything that falls outside of those 3 pillars has changed to more of a childhood friend or acquaintance.
I have felt prioritized in a good number of friendships and that prioritization has shown up in different forms like a text, a call, a brunch or just even holding space without an ask at the end. I am grateful for those that I am no longer close to as our memories hold a place in forming who I am and even though they may not have lasted there is no resentment or ill feeling. And to those that are still present, I couldn’t be happier because we continue to choose each other in different ways and that feeling of community can never be taken from us.
Being prioritized or feeling prioritized is a gift bestowed on us and one we have the opportunity to give to someone else. Let us give with faith that it will be returned in abundance from God.
